the most painful thing

I'm a type that would value my friendships till the end of my life. I would never forget my friends, especially my BEST FRIENDS, even if they did hurt me.

but yesterday, there's a friend, who's so close to me ...

ask me to take him completely out of my life.

unfriend him on FB. delete his phone number. destroy everything that reminds me of him.

just ... FORGET HIM.

and he'll do the same thing to me.

boy, you think that's EASY for me??

I understand how do you feel ... after all that happened between us for these 3 years. I know how much it hurts after telling you the truths that you never knew about me before. maybe I'm not doing good as a friend of you ...

but telling me to FORGET YOU is the MOST painful thing that I ever heard in my life time.

now say, how am I supposed to do so?

I can just throw away all stuffs that remind me of you ...

but as long as I'm still a sober, those memories of us will always stay with me.

you want to forget me, just go ahead. I don't mind.

but please don't force me to do the same thing to you, for I don't have the strength to do so ...

... 'cause for me, forgetting someone I love is like stabbing a sharp knife to my heart.

my heart may not function well. it may cause me so much troubles.

but I want to survive. I rather live in pain than have to end my life in vain.

so same goes to my friendships. 

well, we're now get back to normal. we both decided to keep this friendships.

but I still can't let go of that feeling. the heart-broken feeling.

guess I still can't forgive him for the thing he said to me.

dear God ... please teach me how to give a forgiving heart to this person ...

please guide us how to take care of each other's heart & to put our egos away from us.

please always remind us that no matter what will come across us ...

THIS FRIENDSHIP WOULD NEVER BE SACRIFICED

p/s: too many heart-breaking things happened to me these days ... I can't help crying alone at my bed in the middle of the night :'(